A Solitary Cabin

I'm starting day six at the hospital. While the majority of people I've worked with here have been great, there have been a few encounters that have left me with a bad taste in my mouth.

The common thread in all of them is a level of contempt for the ill. Perhaps it's because people are used to the hospital being for short-term care, but there have been a few times when I've dealt with a staff member more than once during this six-day period, and the reaction is always the same: "You're still here?"

This reaction comes in two flavors: the first is harmless; they expected me to be gone because most people are discharged and sent home by now. With these folks, I get a sympathetic nod when I say that I am waiting on the insurance. They understand that it is the system keeping me here.

There is a smaller subset where something a little more concerning happens. There's an element of "You're not getting better? What the hell is wrong with you?" in their manner. A sort of contempt for the ill, as if it were a lack of effort on our part that we are still sick.

I suspect that people reading this with chronic issues have experienced this before. This is my first time, and it shocked me when I first encountered it. I'm starting to wonder how much more I'm going to run into it on this journey.

It's a shame, really. It's the same sort of thing that leads to people talking about who DESERVES good fortune. As if, because I am ill, I do not deserve any good things because I'm not putting in enough effort to change my situation. As if any of us can truly control our circumstances.

It makes me sad. It makes me angry.